I’m getting to know myself more and more each day through my students.

Never once have I thought about writing a children’s books.  I’ve always said to myself: “I should right a book about my life” because I thought that my life was interesting enough to attract people’s curiosity.  But a children’s book,  no way. Further, a children’s book that would reflect the ideas and views that we discussed in class.  The assignment was to write a children’s book that challenged norms, biases, steretypes, and other injustices that are sublty displayed in American society today.  For example, why are all fairy tale princesses. ballerinas, and every other prissy model that girls like always white.  Snow White, Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, I could go on forever.  Or another example would be books that always have society gender roles in place.  By that I mean boys are in sports, and girls are playing with dolls. But that really wasn’t the challenging part.  The challenging part was coming up with something original that I could incorporate into the whole reasoning behind the assignment. And now I have an all new respect for individuals who are children’s book authors.  That was the most challenging experience I’ve had in a while.  A lot of assignments I got in undergrad were somewhat complicated, but none of them compared to this one.  Initially, I thought: “Wow, this should be fun and easy”.  Well ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you it was fun but not easy.  But, with the help of someone who is very dear to me (who is the main character in my book)  I was able to create a wonderful challenging story with great illustrations.  This dear person, who is one of my 12 year old patients at the hospital, is a always concerned about not having friends that are kids (since i’m her friend, but Im a grown-up).  So, I created this book in her honor!!  IF u want a copy, hit me up!!! LOL

I didn’t realize how passionate I was about this class until I began writing my paper.  I was in Kansas City at the time and was a little upset at having to write a paper over the holiday weekend while at home on break.  But, once I started writing, I realized how important it was to sum up everything that I acquired into a scholarly written assignment so that in the future, when talking with priniciples and administrators I can show them just how insightful and enlightening my experience was.  I wish I would have had more time to put it together.  It wasn’t as organized as I wanted it to be, and I really wanted to talk about every topic that we covered in class.  I guess I could have done that, but it would have been a bit much for the time period.  Surprisingly, this was my favorite assignment of the whole course (although I loved every bit of the the readings that we were given).  At first, when thinking about writing a paper, my thoughts automatically turned negative, but once I got to it and actually started pouring out my ideas and thoughts on paper, I had so much fun. I was able to say things and express feelings that I was a little insecure about speaking of while in class.  So, writing that paper turned out to be a great experience (almost as good as Serenbe)!

FYI:   this was actually a “post” that I wrote as a “page” a long time ago, so I have transferred it incase people did not read it.  This was one of the first pages that I wrote, and didn’t exactly do it correctly; I clicked on “write a page” instead of “write a post”.  So here it is!

Wow!!  I didn’t expect that!  Our retreat was so enlightening as well as exciting for me in so many different ways.  Not only did I bond with 25 (maybe like 40 including faculty and our guests) of the greatest people in the world, but I learned so much from them.  From our fun IceBreaker activities (kudos to whoever got those cards stacke, cause we sure couldn’t), to our Identiy Boxes and Coffe House to our deep conversations and workshops about the miseducation of our youth; I had an incredible experience.  My favorite part (besides the food) was the knowledge and eye-opening information that Mike and Jesse brought to the retreat.  What they shared has had an impact on my thoughts about public education today.  I went to private school, and I’ve never been exposed to that perspective and aspect of how public education should be the right of ALL children in this country.  Not only public education, but QUALITY public/free education.  As a previous private school student, I am blessed to have had the privledge of receiving quality education.  But never once has it crossed my mind that my parents shouldn’t have had to pay just so that I could have that opportunity.  Why isn’t it offered for free? That doesn’t seem to be fair at all.  And finding out (through Mike and Jesse) that there is no Federal responsiblity to childrens’ education was mind-blowing.  What this tells me, is they’d rather us fight and die in a war than provide and support quality education (and security of life for that matter) for everybody.  However, I must remember that since the beginning of “American History”,  what I’ll call it from now on, only certain people or groups of people have had advantages to higher quality things. It’s always been that way, and although this might be “stinking thinking”, it just might always be that way.  If we let it!!  So, before I get into all that let me stop!!  Once again, thanks Mr. and Mrs. Dr. Williams for organizing such a wonderful retreat.  I am now more excited than ever about this journey that I am beginning with you all!!

I have to admit, I had no idea that this class would have such an impact on me.  I feel that I have been so ignorant to a lot of issues that right here in my face.  From Privilege to Stereotypes, Religion to Intelligence, I have gained so much information and I have began to develop the way I want to view the world, not the way I was taught.  Starting out with a class such as this is a great experience.  The issues that we talked about are kept so quiet in the real world, that a lot of people don’t acknowledge or even recognize the many injustices that are prevalent in the US.  Why is it so hard to have a quality education for children living in low poverty? Why is there such an achievement gap between white students and black students.  Why is it weird if some of my students have 2 moms or 2 dads.  The answer to all these questions is: because we are living in American Culture, which I interpret as White Middle Class Christian Culture.  America is so eager to be proud of its diversity, but groups who do not fall into the category above, which is what makes this country diverse, are not treated the same.  Everything that happens to me or even to people I know, I always think about this class and the concepts and ideas that were brought up.  For example, I was in the Office Depot store and noticed that a man (who was black) left a nickle on the counter.  His appearance wasn’t the best as far as his clothes being neat and his hair being combed, but nothing too major.  There was another man in line behind him (who was the man infront of me) and once he got up to the counter picked the nickle up and chased the man down to give it to him.  Now, this is considered an act of kindness, but it made me mad.  I wondered if it was a white man who looked neat and clean ( according to American Standards) would he have done the same thing.  His assumption (and I’m assuming here myself) was that this man is probably poor and needs all his change.  I could be exaggerating, but that’s exactly how I felt.  Situations like this are magnified for me now, I notice everything and I tend to critique it in a manner that reflects the ideas brought up in this class.  I am also inspired to read up on a lot of the ideas that were brought up (I have a list but can’t really recall a particular reading).  I hope that I can continue to think and reflect on these very important issues brought up in this class and that I can form a view for myself.  Right now, that view is still forming.  But for now, I can say that it was so worth the 8 hour days and endless readings, and I have truly been enlightened.

At first I was a little upset that we agreed to have this as our cohort title.  Honestly, I wasn’t really sure of want pangea was exactly.  However, I appreciate the process that we went through and how everyone explained their reasoning behind why we should be pangea.  The concept of one whole growing apart into several different parts, but together they still make the whole hits home with me.  I believe that as a cohort, we are together and we all have a common mission: quality education for our urban students.  Once we go through our process of the UACM program, pangea will grow apart and effect the world in many different ways.  In our group, I see so many strengths and talents and I am confident that we all have a special place in the world of education.  So, I am happy to be a part of Pangea.  (although Urbtopia sounds real real good!)

I think somebody said it in class: It’s about survival of the fittest.  There’s opportunity in some students, but not for the little ghetto poor kids in public schools, or should I say the Black students in public schools.  Although it seemed a little far-fetched earlier, but I bet there are some students that are suspended for wearing a hat.  They probably make little rules like that because they know that students feel that its stupid and rebel by consistently wearing hats to school. To me, this is a very sneaky way of targeting certain students and setting them up for failure.  School was designed to produce the same kind of people that have all jacked up in the first place: designed for middle class people to learn the rules of society and be successful.  We all know that middle class is totally different from living in poor and poverty stricken enviornment.  Further, some children have realized (most of the time, kids are smarter than we give them credit for, even the poor Black ones that most people think know absolutely nothing) that school is not designed for their culture, but rather for a culture that seems so far away and untouchable.  Therefore, the mentality that “this isn’t for me” comes about.  Then comes the domino effect: they start being disruptive in class and engaging in attention-seeking behavior.  This is their coping skill for a stressful and somewhat uncomfortable situation.  Breaking rules is a prime example of the “this ain’t for me” mentality; children feel that if Im not getting something realistive out of this, why should I follow these rules I think are stupid anyway.  Soon enough, they are suspended, sent to ISS, or expelled: Pushed away from the learning enviornment and safety that schools have for kids.  Where else can a child who doesn’t have support from many different angles of their life end up but prison.  I believe that school is set up to get rid of all the “rotten apples” as there are sub-consciously referred to before they hit mainstream society, hopefully.  If we get them out of school and in the streets, they’ll end up in prison making one less ”bad” person in society; Those who fit the what and where society wants them to be, and those who have the resources to do so are able to survive.  But those who don’t fit in, must vanish.  Why not start early?  My mission is to help each and every one of my students “fit in” so they can survive out here, because so many people don’t think they will.

I like the way one of the groups in class described how I was in high school: Socially Elite!  The words are a magnificent description of a person who is extremely high on the social bar, and I can honestly and proudly say that I was one of those individuals.  Social Elites are defined (by the members of this group in my class) as a person who can fluctuate successfully between the many groups that are formed in high school.  For example, A Thespian who gets invited to party with the Mean Girls, listens to music and poetry with the Artists, is a memeber of the Honors Club, and attends the games and after game celebrations with the jocks, cheerleaders, and dance team.  Well, I wouldn’t say that this is me exactly because at an all girls private Catholic High School, surprisingly we didn’t have many “groups” but we definitely had “clicks”.  Clicks included people from all groups, but they only associated with the individuals in their click for the most part.  Of course there were cool clicks and sort of un cool clicks, but clicks included members from several groups.  As a minority in a predominantly whie school, I was able to hang out with many different clicks and form different bonds with many different people.  I could sit at a different lunch table everyday, and it wouldn’t make a single difference.  I appreciate this experience because it shaped my outgoing personality as it is today.  (I was however, and honorary member of “The In Crowd”)!!!!!  Ha Ha!

I must say that Gardner has made me feel a lot better about myself in that he has classified 9 intelligences, several of which I fit in to.  I’ve always thought I was intelligent, I feel that I am smart and talented in many things (not just music).  However, I knew that math/logic, or even creative writing is not something that I have in me.  Therefore, my intelligence is hidden to most people, particularly teachers at my school, being that they are mostly looking for those two mentioned above in determining intelligence.  I thank Gardner for giving me something, my part in the intelligence circle.   Even though musical intelligence is one of two that I can relate too (the other being interpersonal intelligence) I am very much relieved that I fit in some how as “intelligent”.

After today’s exercise, I began to really think about and imagine just hard it is in America for children of a different culture.  Just knowing that you’re different, especially when it’s perceived in a negative way, can make you feel less of a person.  And then the possibility of coming into the classroom, which is supposed to be a safe and secure learning environment, and being treated as if you were less of a person by not only your peers but your teacher.  I really thought about what Mr. Dr Williams was saying about stripping them of what they know and are comfortable with and trying to make them something else (American). Telling a child, whether they speak with a Spanish accent or Black English, that they are not allowed to speak the language of their culture is sending the message: If your not like me, your nothing–So get like me! It’s no different than when the Europeans brought slaves from Africa.  We as educators should not strip our children of their own important and long-lived language and say that standard English is the only way to be.  What we should do however, is educate them on the when’s and where’s while building standard English skills.  I use the word building because our reading explained that an effective method would be to build on a language that they’re already comfortable with and just strengthen the skills.  If they can understand that while their language is important and valuable, so is standard English.  Therefore, in places such as school, work, or even talking with strangers standard English is important.  But, they should be free to talk as they will in places such as home, neighborhood, or even church!!  As for people who feel that accents, in particular Spanish, are low status, we just gone have to pray for ‘em